Character
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Played by
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The Baron
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A hyperactive puerile madman who claims to be the most evil man in the world. He notably tires out towards the end, and often finishes attempting to leave the stage in a strange fashion.
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Tom
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Karate Johnson
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A martial arts expert who tells morality tales, ending with his catchphrase "This is karate" and following it up with a flurry of kicks which reveal too much seemingly accidentally at first, but it becomes more deliberate as the series goes on.
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Tom
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Franco Franco
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A Euro-style crooner who sings inappropriate and nonsensical songs about his unfortunate family.
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Tom
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Colonel Rudd
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A maverick wannabe vet who ill-advisedly uses his animal practices on humans.
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David
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Edgar Ford
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A doddery old man, who's "unlikely to make it to Christmas".
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David
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Nigel Livid
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A man who is constantly annoyed by today's poor TV shows. He storms the Channel 4 offices, only to realise he should stop watching them in the first place.
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David
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Mr. Pratt
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The swimming teacher with the barnacle head.
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Tony
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Tollund Man
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A 2,000-year-old peat bog man who has come back to life.
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Rhys
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Malibu Man
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The Malibu man gets randy on Malibu rum and tries it on with a member of the audience. When they refuse his offers he turns to the camera and says "Oh, blow!".
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Rhys
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Frank
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A man who wants to perform a bodily function, such as farting, but refuses to do it in a public place because it's "disrespectful", and says he'll be "back in da minute". He ends up carrying out his function inappropriately, and is frowned upon by a man in a bowler hat and moustache (David Mitchell).
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Rhys
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Mr Whippy
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A domineering father who won't let his son (Rhys) get a word in. The sketch usually ends with Mr Whippy attacking his son.
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Tony
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Emperor Boswellox
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He has conquered moons along with his followers, but his memory isn't quite so superhuman. He asks each member of his group if they would like a particular food item, such as a poppadom or a falafel, before moving on to the audience.
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Tony
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Trish
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A woman who can only talk in a "comedy" language.
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Nina
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Pru the Bored Housewife
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who does unspeakable things with household appliances.
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Nina
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Stuart Ogilvy
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A frustrated middle-aged, middle-class golfer who literally gets steamed up about what's wrong with society. He makes several references about the "gowlf clerb".
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Simon
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Mighty Mouse
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A racehorse who is unlucky in love.
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Simon
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Singing Cat
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Taking place in a car, a singing cat puppet sings (meows) a tune from a TV soap such as Coronation Street, and the owner (Tony) utters obscenities at it. In later episodes, however, the cat would sing a popular tune ("Vienna" by Ultravox), and the owner would join in. This was shown at the credits of each episode.
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Tony
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